This is the best meme ever, stolen from Joshilyn Jackson at Faster than Kudzu.
What you do is google your name and the word needs. So I googled “Mallory needs…” and here are the first 10 entries:
1. Mallory needs a toy (oy, how did google find out about my B.O.B. post?!)
2. Mallory needs ketchup on her burger (true. and mustard and mayo please. oh, and better make it a veggie burger!)
3. Mallory needs a bodyguard (um, do you know something I don’t know?)
4. Mallory needs access to the traffic (ah, no, actually, I get plenty o’ traffic driving the kids to school in Outer Bumsquat morning and afternoon, thanks anyway!)
5. Mallory needs to be here (ok, you got me! Where’s the party?!)
6. Mallory needs a real job, one that produces a bona fided W-2 (Wow this is scarily accurate, sort of, ‘cuz I have a real job but I am on a leave of absence and now I am slaving away at housework and wound care and other fun stuff but it does not pay (except in hugs and love and gratitude, which is more than enough, but still, I will now demand a W-2 from my disabled mother. Thank you, google!)
7. Mallory needs to humiliate him and Pepper will lose his marbles (Ok, I’m game, hey Pepper, your name is a seasoning! Take that!)
8. Mallory needs to take up collecting stamps or something (um, ok, I choose “or something” )
9. Mallory needs to go back to wherever she’s been whoring around (ok, Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?)
10. Mallory needs to spend hundreds of millions of dollars (now this one is definitely my favorite! Let’s get started now!)
Ok, now it’s your turn! You do it and let me know in the comments so I can come read it!