What Mallory Needs

This is the best meme ever, stolen from Joshilyn Jackson at Faster than Kudzu. 

What you do is google your name and the word needs.  So I googled “Mallory needs…” and here are the first 10 entries:

1.  Mallory needs a toy (oy, how did google find out about my B.O.B. post?!)

2.  Mallory needs ketchup on her burger (true.  and mustard and mayo please.  oh, and better make it a veggie burger!)

3.  Mallory needs a bodyguard (um, do you know something I don’t know?)

4.  Mallory needs access to the traffic (ah, no, actually, I get plenty o’ traffic driving the kids to school in Outer Bumsquat morning and afternoon, thanks anyway!)

5.  Mallory needs to be here (ok, you got me!  Where’s the party?!)

6.  Mallory needs a real job, one that produces a bona fided W-2 (Wow this is scarily accurate, sort of, ‘cuz I have a real job but I am on a leave of absence and now I am slaving away at housework and wound care and other fun stuff but it does not pay (except in hugs and love and gratitude, which is more than enough, but still,  I will now demand a W-2 from my disabled mother.  Thank you, google!)

7.  Mallory needs to humiliate him and Pepper will lose his marbles (Ok, I’m game, hey Pepper, your name is a seasoning!  Take that!)

8.  Mallory needs to take up collecting stamps or something (um, ok, I choose “or something” )

9.  Mallory needs to go back to wherever she’s been whoring around (ok, Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?)

10.  Mallory needs to spend hundreds of millions of dollars (now this one is definitely my favorite!  Let’s get started now!)

Ok, now it’s your turn!  You do it and let me know in the comments so I can come read it!

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13 responses to “What Mallory Needs

  1. Love this – I am trying it! Thanks for the comment on my blog, by the way and a hoophouse is a big, unheated greenhouse. We plant inside it, in the ground and that way we get a good month headstart on our vegetables. When you live in this God-forsaken land of cold…..you have to use every advantage you can!

    I’m googling myself now (oooohhh that sounded dirty), come see what “I need…”

  2. I did it. Oh my gawd!! Too funny!

  3. Ha! I’ll trade you my ‘blinding sex’ for your ‘millions’ – cold, hard, cash is better than sex any day of the week!!

  4. ha ha ha ha!!! Oh, that is hilarious. And welcome!!!

  5. Apparently I need to keep my mouth shut more often… I am actually a fairly quiet person.

  6. Pingback: Seven is Red » Blog Archive » What a girl wants … what a girl needs

  7. Who knew I needed all that stuff!?! Thanks!

  8. I did it! I did it!

  9. I love this. I “blingo’ed” myself (never pass up an opportunity to pissibly win a prize!) it’s amazing how in one sentece it is so accurate, but the next really scares you. (I need to rethink my position on doing adult films, apparently as well as cash. I wonder if I rethink my position on adult films, my cash flow issues would be resolved? Eh, still nto worth it…) 🙂 thanks again for the great memes!

  10. I loved this! What a fun game…

  11. This is really fun. I done did it too.

  12. I have sent this list to my friends’ email boxes, and it’s becoming a great game. Thanks for the idea!
    My favorite need: Calyn needs princess hours! Seriously! 🙂

  13. My name is also and so i typed in “mallory needs” on google and got this! thanks for doing the work for me haha:)

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