Swan Song

They were my first words on this blog, “I just love blogs and read way too many of them.”  I loved them so much, and I loved writing so much, that I wanted to have my own.  I still love blogs, and writing more than ever, but I don’t want to have a blog any more.

Why?  Because I worry about my kids’ privacy, and their feelings.  Because, if I’m honest, unless a blog is 100% anonymous, it is almost a waste of time for me.  The minute one person whose opinion I value in real life starts to read, I start to censor myself.  I care too much about others’ opinions of me, its just how it is.  So between worrying about offending someone close to me, and writing sanitized-for-your-protection-drivel, it has become so much more time-consuming than it is worth to me.

I seem to have only so many words a day in me, and I have a fun new way I want to use them:  I want to write a book.  I have a plot and I have characters and I have my creative spark back and I am ready to get serious about giving my ideas some life.  I want to turn all of my writing attention to that.  I hope you will wish me luck and that you’ll be my first readers if/when it gets published.  I hope you’ll still be glad to see me when I continue to visit and comment on your blogs, which I plan to do.

One other bit of writing I want to do:  I have started notebooks that say, “Dear Lili” and “Dear Matt.”  I plan to write lots of (private) letters to my kids as a journal and a chronical of all their adventures and my adventure being their mama.  I just had a marvelous time with them this weekend, and it should make a great first entry. 

To all my friends in the computer, you have my heart.  Play nice.  Take advice from my dog, Hazel: Wag more, bark less.  Be happy.  Good-bye, farewell.  Amen.