Swan Song

They were my first words on this blog, “I just love blogs and read way too many of them.”  I loved them so much, and I loved writing so much, that I wanted to have my own.  I still love blogs, and writing more than ever, but I don’t want to have a blog any more.

Why?  Because I worry about my kids’ privacy, and their feelings.  Because, if I’m honest, unless a blog is 100% anonymous, it is almost a waste of time for me.  The minute one person whose opinion I value in real life starts to read, I start to censor myself.  I care too much about others’ opinions of me, its just how it is.  So between worrying about offending someone close to me, and writing sanitized-for-your-protection-drivel, it has become so much more time-consuming than it is worth to me.

I seem to have only so many words a day in me, and I have a fun new way I want to use them:  I want to write a book.  I have a plot and I have characters and I have my creative spark back and I am ready to get serious about giving my ideas some life.  I want to turn all of my writing attention to that.  I hope you will wish me luck and that you’ll be my first readers if/when it gets published.  I hope you’ll still be glad to see me when I continue to visit and comment on your blogs, which I plan to do.

One other bit of writing I want to do:  I have started notebooks that say, “Dear Lili” and “Dear Matt.”  I plan to write lots of (private) letters to my kids as a journal and a chronical of all their adventures and my adventure being their mama.  I just had a marvelous time with them this weekend, and it should make a great first entry. 

To all my friends in the computer, you have my heart.  Play nice.  Take advice from my dog, Hazel: Wag more, bark less.  Be happy.  Good-bye, farewell.  Amen.

Advertisements

Le Weekend

Weekends are the highlight for me (I know, I am so freakin’ original, aren’t I?) for two reasons:  my kids are home and we can do fun stuff, and Sunday in particular is my “relief day” when my sis comes to take care of my mom and I am a free agent.

Today we are taking the Portland streetcar to the Portland Ariel Tram, and going on the tram just for fun.  Let me correct that–my kids are going on the ariel tram for fun.  I am sitting on the nice bench at the tram station, reading a book and waiting for them because that is fun for me.  Being suspended by a cable in a little capsule high above the city and the Willamette river?  No thank you.  I would rather have my legs waxed, while having a root canal.  I know, I know, the view, the opportunity to see the city in a whole new way, blah, blah.  Yeah.  No thank you.

Tomorrow we are going to Oaks Park, which is this groovy old amusement park on the river.  It is both cheap (only $11 for a 5 hr bracelet) and with enough scary rides to keep the kids happy.  And there are plenty of tame rides for me: the hand-carved antique carosel, the train, the superslide which is called Big Pink (snicker.)  Plus I will get my walking in, up and down the midway, and there is a gorgeous picnic area right on the river where you can see the houseboats.  In the summer, it is even more beautiful when all the roses are in bloom. 

What are your weekend plans? 

Go forth and recreate!